newest | older | rings | profile | notes | design | diaryland
i love you, carlos.
*06.16.03* @ *1:57 p.m.*
it feels like whenever someone says "brooklyn", my heart cracks just a little bit more.
did i mention i fell in love with more than just the city? i fell in love with the boy with the most beautiful lips and eyes and teeth in the entire world? did i mention he had the most amazing kisses and the most intelligent rhymes? and he had those clavicles that smelled like little bits of babies and heaven with a splash of old spice...
did i mention that is why i so willingly came back to florida?
the way he grabbed my hips...oh god...it made me run a thousand miles away. the way i knew what he was saying even when he was whispering into my deaf ear. how when i laid next to him, he made sure i knew he was happy. how the only time he made me cry was when he kissed the side of my face and told me he felt like he was at home.
he called me last night to tell me that i was a quitter for leaving, that i was stupid for not being more accepting of his affection, and that i was blind for not seeing the beauty in me and the beauty in us.
i told him i wasn't a quitter, nor stupid, nor blind.
just scared.
and he told me there was nothing in the world that he hated more than cowards, but he couldn't help but love me.
i whispered that i loved him too, but the timing was off.
he had already hung up the phone...