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demon.
*03.26.03* @ *11:33 a.m.*
oh, the way i could pound angry fists onto a solid ground. and scream into his face for lying to me. or curse the walls for standing so tall and mocking me for crumbcrumbcrumbling into nothing. and the way he'd try to pull me up, and i'd protest because he really didn't knock me down. it was simply a reaction to what had been done. but he had done it, right? and this circularfuckingphilosophy always got me into trouble.
"you think you are tough?"
but i never screamed except on the inside whether it was at him or to my weak fists attached to weaker wrists or his fists against my face as holes in the walls mockmockmocking me as they still stand.
no, i simply held it all inside until my walls were built so high an earthquake of self-doubt accompanied them when they finally came crumbling.
just a demon lives there in a light sleep.
"you think you are sooo tough?"
perpetually pokepokepoking the demon with a stick.
wake up, demon. i'm tired of living this way, and i think it's time for you to take over.